First Steam Game
Satirical bullet heaven roguelite
Performance Review: Survivor
“Clock in. Get rich. Retire. Maybe.”
The Hook
AI is taking your job and capitalism is trying to kill you. Fight back. This office roguelite throws hordes of coworkers and AI managers at you — snowball office supplies into a screen-clearing build and outlast 30 brutal years of reviews, debt, and firings.
About
Performance Review: Survivor is a satirical bullet heaven roguelite. Your weapons are office supplies, the horde is your coworkers, and your manager is an AI that's quietly evaluating whether you're still needed. Staplers, business cards, paper airplanes, reply-all emails, and NDAs fire on their own while you pick upgrades, stack trinkets, and evolve maxed-out weapons into a build that wipes the whole floor. Your AI Manager calls mid-fight with Promotion Packets, every year ends in a performance review, and getting fired isn't the end of the run: hit the job portal, survive the interview, negotiate, and clock back in. It's also our learning-by-shipping game — the first LanternWard Games project to reach Steam, and now the first with a playable demo.
Highlights
- 30-minute careers: 30 years, one per minute, then a 401(k) retirement projection
- 25 weapons, including evolutions, plus 25 desk trinkets to build around
- 20+ coworker types and boss encounters — Interns, Micromanagers, Office Bros, Cold Callers, Consultants, HR and more
- Company policies that change every run, plus hidden career challenges
- Fired/Hired minigames: job portal, interview, salary elevator
- An AI Manager who calls mid-fight with Promotion Packets and life-event gambles
- Water coolers that relocate around the floor — vent, heal, and grab damage buffs
Steam Tags
Steam Screenshots
Roadmap
- Steam page live
- Free demo out now (Sep 27, 2026)
- Full release Nov 5, 2026
- Polish and tuning only — the game is content complete